I wish I were living cinema. Some people are like that, I think. I have seen it before. They move and while watching them you become transfixed in something in the flow of their movement and it does not seem real. Sometimes it seems to happen in slow motion, like watching someone light up during laughter and it just dazzles you and unfolds in tiny increments as you sit, transfixed, by the beauty of it. Sometimes I experience myself in that way. It’s almost as though I can slow down the perception of people who are observing my actions just by taking my time flowing into the motions with ease and confidence. There is a life to those moments. The person in the moment seems to be delightfully at one and in synchrony with something grander. It’s a feeling I get sometimes — it rushes over me, and I go back to that place and I see all these glimpses of beautiful moments like that flooding over my mind. I see myself in fields, spinning around. Is it a feminine energy? I don’t know. It’s something. I have felt it in real life and it is magical. It happens to me on swings and I feel that oneness, that flow, and I feel beautiful…not in a physical way, necessarily, but in a deeply spiritual way. Photographers try to capture it. Sometimes they succeed. I remember Cameron Crowe once saying of Kirsten Dunst that she was exuberant, but that there were about ten layers of complexity going on at the same time that she’d be laughing. And that’s…what it is, the flow, the charm, the beauty, the magic. A spiritual echo from one human being to another, resonating.
I pay attention, take notes. I am a writer, a thinker, and a theoretician. I thrive on my explorations of myself (philosophy/cognitive psychology), qualities composing this overture of existence (physics), and those minds that make it up now (psychology/sociology) and have influenced it before (history/sociology). I read, smile, stare, communicate, situate, conceptualize, blink, write, know, think, actualize, simplify, complicate, provoke, inspire...as much as possible.